In my therapy session today, my Ambitious/Rational part complained my therapist on how other parts of me were stopping it from doing anything. Every time it wanted to work, some parts would take the wheel and do their things - listen to podcasts, be in the moment and cuddle my partner, watch random Instagram reels, or comedy / HIMYM youtube clips instead of actually doing the project I so wanna do for months!
What's AbhinavLand (my internal world structure)
Imagine my internal world as an Age of Empires map—let’s call it AbhinavLand. Each part of me resides in its own house, and every house has a chimney that releases white smoke when all is well. But when a part is in distress, the smoke changes color, signaling that something is off.
(I’ll dive deeper into this concept in a future blog.)
What therapy means to me
For me, therapy is a space where my self and my therapist can observe what’s happening in AbhinavLand, much like viewing an Age of Empires game from above. We identify if any house is emitting colored smoke and then listen to what the parts are saying.
The goal is to address misunderstandings, recognizing that every part of me wants to help in its own way. I’ve learned that when all parts live in harmony, when each part is happy, the whole self—Abhinav—is at peace. I call this state “Thehraav” (a calm, steady stillness).
Protest outside Ambitious Rai's (AR) house
During the session, my ambitious part, Ambitious Rai (AR), noticed a massive protest outside its house. Other parts were making him feel unwelcome, as if they held a grudge against him. Red smoke billowed from AR’s chimney, signaling distress. When AR stepped outside and set aside his prejudice, he asked the protesting parts why they were keeping him under house arrest.
The response was heartfelt - "We're really worried for you AR. We're concerned about what if you might fail & hurt yourself again? We know how adamant you can be after your goals & get hurt if they are not accomplished. What if you start this project prime, fail & get hurt again? We love you and want you to be safe". They all thought how AR was still obsessed with success or afraid of failure, just like in the past.
Looking at the care he received, AR teared up & responded with gratitude, “Thank you so much for caring about me! What was I thinking about you & all you want for me is to not get hurt. I'm blessed with you.”
AR's Growth
Looking at this field marshall tearing down and being so vulnerable was a turning point. All other parts started to see that my ambitious side wasn’t driven by a fear of failure anymore. What a growth it has seen in the past few months. It wasn’t about winning or losing; it is now all about enjoying the process. It wasn’t treating my goals as a matter of life or death but loving the game & loving the process. Yes, there are goals, but he's not stressing over them & taking the wheel. I’m doing this because I genuinely enjoy being in the creative zone!
This shift helped the other parts realize that they didn’t need to hold AR back anymore.
They were proud to see how much AR had grown & all went back to their houses. Peace in AbhinavLand!
Shifting Focus from External Goals to Inner Peace
This session marked a big change in how I view my ambitions. Such a dominant part that drove me for years. It’s no longer just about achieving big goals or making a lot of money. Now, it’s about making sure every part of me is content and enjoying the present moment. By unblocking my ambitious side, I’ve seen how much it has evolved. It’s not about rigid outcomes anymore; it’s about personal growth and fulfillment. Making sure Abhinav Land is in state of Thehraav! All parts of myself are in balance. By understanding and embracing every part, I can turn internal conflicts into chances for growth. It’s not about avoiding failure or chasing success; it’s about finding joy in the process and allowing every part of me to thrive.
No part of me is alone in their journey
With every session, the self can see all parts being more and more compassionate towards each other. Helping each other when they are stuck. Caring for each other. In my upcoming startup journey or every journey any part takes, they have a lot of Co-Founders now! Some days when Ambitious Rai is tired, the nature Rai can take over & make him calm & composed with waterfalls. Authenticity, Compassion, Honesty are the core values in this Abhinav Land and I’m excited to see where this unity takes us. :)
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